Pansexuals Vs. Asexuals: A Response

This is a response to the video linked below, which compares pansexuality with asexuality. This is why I think the video portrays both of these sexualities in a negative light.

I’m fine with oversimplification, but this flat out makes both sides look bad.
Pansexuality doesn’t mean that the person wants a lot of sex, it just means the person can theoretically be attracted to anyone of any gender (or lack of gender). So that in itself means pansexuals and asexuals can’t be directly compared.
Asexuality is concerned only with sex itself; not with the gender of the person the asexual may want to date.

And yes, asexuals can date. Asexuality is a spectrum. On one end of the spectrum is demisexuality. Demisexuals can experience a desire for sex, and can enjoy sex, with the right person. It’s just that their feelings of emotional and sexual intimacy are more intertwined than the average person. Demisexuals are unlikely to experience sexual desire towards a person they don’t know; for example in porn or seeing a celebrity on TV (unless, perhaps, they have developed a ‘connection’ with the celebrity by reading about them or watching interviews, etc). They are also unlikely to feel sexual attraction towards a person they have met in real life, but don’t know anything about. (However demisexuality is, in itself, a spectrum, but I won’t go into that here.)

On the other end of the asexuality spectrum is the aromantic asexual. They don’t experience either emotional or physical feelings of attraction towards others. But, being a spectrum, most asexuals will fall somewhere in between.

I don’t claim to be an expert on this, and my knowledge is based only on what I have read about or watched on YouTube. Please feel free correct me in the comments if you think I’ve made a mistake. πŸ™‚


Long distance relationships – Do they work?

As anyone in a committed long distance relationship will surely know, this type of relationship brings with it a whole range of emotions that ‘normal’ couples don’t need to deal with anywhere near as frequently. An ongoing roller coaster of happiness, excitement, mega-whirlwind-happiness, sadness and eventually back to happiness (usually coinciding with the booking of the next visit!)

VIDEO: Skype lovin’

However LDRs must surely have their benefits, right? Or else why do we do it? Is it simply filling a space in our lives until we fall in love with someone local? I guess this could be true for some couples, but in many cases they are much more than this, and you hope and plan for a future with your far away love.

YouTubers Kaelyn and Lucy spent approximately a year with only online and telephone contact before Lucy had the opportunity to visit her girlfriend. Now, a few years later, they are planning to move in together in the US.

However it is, of course, the moving in together that poses a big challenge for the LDR. It ultimately requires at least one person to move away from everything they know and love to set up home in a foreign land. Depending on the distance you are from your partner, it may be possible for the two of you to move to a location between your current homes, but both of you uprooting (if resources are pooled) can prove a lot more costly. Also, in my case, this would leave us somewhere in the Atlantic ocean!

If you are living in different countries, or even continents, you can face legal obstacles regarding your immigration to your partner’s country. This can not only be very expensive and time-consuming, but there is also a possibility of rejection if you don’t meet the criteria of the required Visa.

My girlfriend and I are currently in the process of filing a fiancΓ© visa application for me to move in with her (in the US). It is a huge step for me, especially because I am an only child, so I worry about moving so far away from my parents as they reach retirement age. But we want to start our life together and I am very excited for that!

VIDEO: Visa puppets

An LDR requires a VERY loving relationship, with both of you very sensitive to each other’s feelings. It requires a lot of compromising and willingness to drastically change your life for this person. But don’t forget your family and friends. You want them to be happy for you, not feel abandoned. If you plan to move away, keep them informed of your plans and give them time to get used to the idea. Reassure them that you will keep in touch and visit them whenever you can. And make sure you keep these promises.

But don’t give up! It CAN work! Some definite advantages are listed below.

1. If you can cope with an LDR, and maintaining the relationship between visits, and you’re still head-over-heels in love, then congratulations! Your relationship is super strong and healthy!

2. You REALLY appreciate your time together

3. You can spend all of your time together doing fun stuff because the boring stuff can be done when you’re apart

4. A willingness to be in an LDR significantly increases your chances (assuming you’re as much of an Internet procrastinator as me) of finding your perfect partner. If we limit ourselves to local people, then inevitably we’re writing off a whole world of really amazing people!

Good luck and congrats on your LDR πŸ™‚

VIDEO: Long distance love

British-American “Love across the miles” Badge

I designed this badge because I was missing my American girlfriend and wanted to design something that would depict our love. But you don’t have to be in a long-distance relationship to wear this badge; it’s perfect for friendship or simply to show your love and support from across the Atlantic. πŸ™‚

Click the link below to view the badge:

To see more of my designs and products, go to*