As anyone in a committed long distance relationship will surely know, this type of relationship brings with it a whole range of emotions that ‘normal’ couples don’t need to deal with anywhere near as frequently. An ongoing roller coaster of happiness, excitement, mega-whirlwind-happiness, sadness and eventually back to happiness (usually coinciding with the booking of the next visit!)
VIDEO: Skype lovin’
However LDRs must surely have their benefits, right? Or else why do we do it? Is it simply filling a space in our lives until we fall in love with someone local? I guess this could be true for some couples, but in many cases they are much more than this, and you hope and plan for a future with your far away love.
YouTubers Kaelyn and Lucy spent approximately a year with only online and telephone contact before Lucy had the opportunity to visit her girlfriend. Now, a few years later, they are planning to move in together in the US.
However it is, of course, the moving in together that poses a big challenge for the LDR. It ultimately requires at least one person to move away from everything they know and love to set up home in a foreign land. Depending on the distance you are from your partner, it may be possible for the two of you to move to a location between your current homes, but both of you uprooting (if resources are pooled) can prove a lot more costly. Also, in my case, this would leave us somewhere in the Atlantic ocean!
If you are living in different countries, or even continents, you can face legal obstacles regarding your immigration to your partner’s country. This can not only be very expensive and time-consuming, but there is also a possibility of rejection if you don’t meet the criteria of the required Visa.
My girlfriend and I are currently in the process of filing a fiancé visa application for me to move in with her (in the US). It is a huge step for me, especially because I am an only child, so I worry about moving so far away from my parents as they reach retirement age. But we want to start our life together and I am very excited for that!
VIDEO: Visa puppets
An LDR requires a VERY loving relationship, with both of you very sensitive to each other’s feelings. It requires a lot of compromising and willingness to drastically change your life for this person. But don’t forget your family and friends. You want them to be happy for you, not feel abandoned. If you plan to move away, keep them informed of your plans and give them time to get used to the idea. Reassure them that you will keep in touch and visit them whenever you can. And make sure you keep these promises.
But don’t give up! It CAN work! Some definite advantages are listed below.
1. If you can cope with an LDR, and maintaining the relationship between visits, and you’re still head-over-heels in love, then congratulations! Your relationship is super strong and healthy!
2. You REALLY appreciate your time together
3. You can spend all of your time together doing fun stuff because the boring stuff can be done when you’re apart
4. A willingness to be in an LDR significantly increases your chances (assuming you’re as much of an Internet procrastinator as me) of finding your perfect partner. If we limit ourselves to local people, then inevitably we’re writing off a whole world of really amazing people!
Good luck and congrats on your LDR 🙂
VIDEO: Long distance love